Taper Crazies

I cannot believe IMMT is in 6 weeks, I should be in full training node but instead I am in taper mode and slowly going crazy.  I have a 70.3 in Geneva NY next Sunday as a rehearsal for IMMT and I have a taper week so I am ready. I am use to doing 15 or so hours of training a week and to drop to half that is hard, especially when I know what is to come.  A friend who is also doing the 70.3 started worrying about her race on Tuesday and it started a full blown panic attack for me that lasted 3 days, not for the 70.3 but IMMT.  What if I can't make the cut off, what if  I just make the bike cutoff and I have to do the marathon in 6:30 hours, I am planning to having 7 hours..what if...what if...what if. I could what if myself into the ground or I could train and do the work to make sure I could make the cut offs and that is what I did.  

Sometimes when I feel like this I look back at how far I have come and it shows me  I am improving and that I am not the same athlete I was a year ago or even 6 months ago.  This helps me believe anything is possible and that what I am feeling is just the fear of the unknown.  I have done the work, to the best of my abilities and I need to show up on race day ready to go, to be present and to be confident in my abilities.  

When I decided to do this event 3 years ago, I was not the person or athlete who could do it but I knew if I worked hard and wanted it enough, I could become that person and I am hoping I did enough.  A lot of people think I am crazy and I probably am but along this journey I have found myself, I have found something I am passionate about, something that gives me joy and sorrow, frustration and exhilaration, it makes me push outside my comfort zone and become a better person, a better wife, mother, friend and business women.  

If you had told me 6 years ago that I would be training for an Ironman, I would have laughed in your face, same with a marathon but here I am, 11 half marathons, 3 marathons, 2 Ironman 70.3's and one Half Iron Distance race later and I am still standing.  Let's face it, I don't know what will happen on August 16th, I hope to hear Mike Reilly say those famous words to me but whatever happens, I have already received so much from this journey and I will continue to grow, to train and to inspire others.... as long as I can.